Oz Wars
by Peter Pan the Magnificent
Summary: This is a screenplay that combines Star Wars and The Wizard of Oz! It's downright hilarious and is free for anyone to use. Use it for school plays or just goofing off! Enjoy Oz Wars!


**OZ WARS**

**Character Mix's:**

Luke - Dorothy

Obi One Kenobi - Glenda

R2 D2 - Toto

C 3P0 - The Tin Man

Chewbacca - The Cowardly Lion

Han Solo - The Scarecrow

Yoda - The Wizard of Oz

Leah - Leah

Rebels - The Munchkins

The Empire - Witches servants(Flying monkeys…)

Aunt Buru - Auntie Em

Darth Vader - Wicked Witch of the West

The Emperor - Wicked Witch of the East

* * *

**INT. A PIRATED IMPERIAL SHIP - N/A  
**

_Munchkins hold their guns ready towards the entrance. Flying monkeys barge in holding guns. A fight begins. The munchkins get out numbered. A few munchkins hold their hands up to surrender. Flying monkeys grab them._

**HEAD MONKEY**

Where are the ruby slippers?

**HEAD MUNCHKIN**

Just follow the blue brick road.

**HEAD MONKEY**

There is no blue brick road!

**MUNCHKIN1**

It was worth a try boss.

_Darth Vader enters wearing a skirt and witch hat._

**DARTH VADER**

Search for stray munchkins, and find those slippers!

_Some flying monkeys exit. Some flying monkeys search around._

**MONKEY1**

Sir I found some blue brick road dust!

_The HEAD MONKEY shoots MONKEY1. Some flying monkeys enter the stage holding PRINCESS LEAH._

**DARTH VADER**

Where are the slippers?

**LEAH**

The republic will be angry when they hear you attacked an imperial ship!

**DARTH VADER**

The empire didn't hire munchkins!

**MUNCHKIN1**

They hired my grandma!

_MONKEY2 shoots MUNCHKIN1._

**DARTH VADER**

Take her to the castle.

_Some flying monkeys exit with Leah. MONKEY3 enters._

**MONKEY3**

A rebel ship has landed in Kansas!

**DARTH VADER**

Search Kansas, and get those slippers!

_MONKEY2 notices some blue dust._

**MONKEY2**

Ooo! Ooo! Some blue road dust!

_Head Monkey shoots Monkey2._

_

* * *

_

**EXT. KANSAS IN FRONT OF LUKE'S HOUSE - DAY  
**

LUKE is petting R2D2. AUNTIE EM is sitting in a chair. Miss Gulch enters looking cross.

**MS. GULCH**

That droid, zapped my cat this morning! I will pay you fifteen hundred if you melt it down.

_R2D2 Beeps with fear._

**LUKE**

Oh! Auntie Em! Don't let her take R2D2 away!

**AUNTIE EM**

Luke. Fifteen hundred is worth six months of farm work!

**LUKE**

But Auntie Em! She'll melt him down!

**MS. GULCH**

It down!

**AUNTIE EM**

Miss Gulch. I'm sure the zap was a malfunction.

**MS. GULCH**

I'm in charge around here! Now Emily, if you want money, I suggest you cooperate!

**LUKE**

You have a big nose Gulch!

_Miss Gulch gets angry._

**AUNTIE EM**

Luke!

_Auntie Em scolds Luke. She then addresses Ms. Gulch._

**AUNTIE EM**

Miss Gulch. I don't want to cause more trouble so I'll make the trade.

**LUKE**

No! You know I have no self esteem! R2D2 Is the only friend I have!

_Luke abruptly exits._

**MS. GULCH**

Where is he going?

**AUNTIE EM**

To play munchkins verses monkeys.

* * *

**EXT. KANSAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE - DAY  
**

_Luke stands with R2D2_

**LUKE**

R2D2, we're running away to Oz. We'll find a way to get rid of Gulch there.

_R2D2 beeps with panic._

**LUKE**

What? A tornado! R2, we've got to find shelter fast!

_Luke and R2 jump inside a cardboard box._

_

* * *

_

**EXT. MUNCHKIN LAND - DAY  
**

_Luke gets out of the box looking disoriented._

**LUKE**

That was awesome!

_The munchkins point guns at them._

**LUKE**

Um... hi?

**MUNCHKIN MAYOR**

You were supposed to destroy her! But you only had a card board box! She got away!

**LUKE**

Who?

**MUNCHKIN MAYOR**

The Wicked Witch of the East!

**LUKE**

Cardboard was all I found though!

_Obi One Kenobi enters dressed like Glenda._

**OBI ONE KENOBI**

I'm Obi One Kenobi. The good witch of the north.

**LUKE**

Obi One can you please get me out of this? I just wanted to come to Oz and find a way to kill Gulch!

**OBI ONE KENOBI**

Just follow the Yellow brick road.

_Luke looks up at the sky where a massive yellow brick road is._

**LUKE**

You mean that one all the way up there? Are you sure it's not the blue brick road over there?

**OBI ONE KENOBI**

That's only 2 feet long! You need to find the wizard of Oz in the emerald city. It's only a 55 billion mile walk.

**LUKE**

55 billion?

**OBI ONE KENOBI**

Just go! Oh and take these.

_Munchkins put ruby slippers on Luke._

**LUKE**

What do you take me for?

_Luke tries to take them off without success._

**LUKE**

Jerks!

_Luke exits looking determined._

_

* * *

_

**EXT. ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY  
**

_Luke and R2D2 walk up to The SCARE CROW/HAN SOLO_

**LUKE**

Hey you there! Wanna come to the emerald city with me?

_Han doesn't answer._

**LUKE**

Hello?

**HAN**

Can't you see that I'm a Scare crow? I can't talk! I have no brain!

**LUKE**

Oh right! Bye.

_Luke starts leaving. Han follows._

**HAN**

I'll follow, maybe the wizard will give me a brain.

* * *

**EXT. FURTHER ALONG THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY  
**

_Luke and Han are exhausted._

**LUKE**

One billion... Just a lot more to go...

**HAN**

Listen…

**TIN MAN**

Help!

**LUKE**

Some one's in danger!

_They find The TIN MAN/C3P0. He's frozen in place._

**HAN**

He needs to be oiled!

_Luke takes a bottle out of R2 and sprays The Tin Man way, way more than necessary._

**LUKE**

Ok. Bye.

**TIN MAN**

Wait! Where are you going?

**LUKE**

The Wizard.

**TIN MAN**

But that's approximately 54 billion miles away!

_Luke and Han exit._

**TIN MAN**

Hey! Wait for me!

_The Tin Man rushes after them._

* * *

**EXT. FOREST - DAY  
**

_Chewbacca enters and grabs R2. Luke turns around and slaps Chewbacca on the face. Chewbacca cries._

**TIN MAN**

What a coward.

_The Tin Man spots a spider on his foot._

**TIN MAN**

Ahh! A spider!

_The tin man is acting like a maniac trying to get the spider off. Luke walks up to Chewbacca and takes back R2._

**HAN**

Hey Chewy!

**LUKE**

You know him?

_Han and Chewy slap each other on the backs._

**HAN**

Were old pals. Hey chewy we're going to the emerald city, wanna come?

_Chewy makes happy noises. Chewy/Luke/Han exit. The Tin Man finally gets the spider off and runs after them._

* * *

**EXT. MEADOW OF POPPIES - DAY  
**

_Scary music is playing._

**LUKE**

Stand back! There's evil here.

**HAN**

How do you know?

**LUKE**

The music.

_Darth Vader enters._

**LUKE**

You're my favorite action figure! Can I have an autograph?

**DARTH VADER**

Make it quick I need to take you to the castle.

**LUKE**

Okay!

_Luke brings Darth Vader a piece of Vader signs it and hands it back to Luke._

_Luke and Darth Vader light saber duel until Luke has to yield. There is a very long silence._

**LUKE**

Um Gorge… Say you're line.

**DARTH VADER**

Right!

_Darth Vader clears throat._

**DARTH VADER**

Luke I am you mother!

**LUKE**

No! Wait… You're a girl?

**DARTH VADER**

DUH!

_A stampede of munchkins attack Darth Vader who runs and exits._

**HAN**

Luke, you've got one ugly mother.

**LUKE**

Yeah.

* * *

**EXT. EMERALD CITY GATES - DAY  
**

_The four enter, and knock on the door. It opens._

**GUARD**

GO away!

_Chewy lifts up Luke and show's the slippers._

**GUARD**

The wizard will be with you in a moment.

_The guard exits._

**TIN MAN**

I wish I had those shoes.

_Chewy, Han, and Luke stare at The Tin Man as if he's crazy.

* * *

_

**INT. THE WIZARD'S CHAMBER - DAY  
**

_The Four enter. The WIZARD OF OZ/YODA is talking on a cellphone._

**YODA**

Yeah, she broke up with me. I'm busy tonight too, I'm doing a shoot.

_Yoda looks at The Four and jumps in shock._

**YODA**

Got to go! Bye.

_Yoda hangs up._

**LUKE**

I need to kill some one!

**HAN**

I need a brain!

_Chewy makes noise._

**HAN**

He says he needs courage.

**TIN MAN**

And I need a some new circuits.

**YODA**

I'll give you those if… You kill Darth Vader and the Wicked witch of the East.

**LUKE**

WHAT! I can't kill my own mother!

**YODA**

They're girls? Um, just go and do it!

**TIN MAN**

Why me?

* * *

**INT. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST'S CHAMBER - DAY  
**

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST  
**

Vader! Bring Luke here! Then we will turn him to the Dark side and take his slippers!

**DARTH VADER**

But I have a headache mom!

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Just go!

**DARTH VADER**

Fine! Be like that!

_Darth Vader exits abruptly._

* * *

**EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT  
**

_The Four enter a lunch line of flying monkeys. They go up to a MONKEY LUNCH LADY who stops them._

**MONKEY LUNCH LADY**

You don't look like monkeys to me!

_The Four look at each other and start acting like monkeys._

**MONKEY LUNCH LADY**

Okay, take your bananas and go.

_The Four take their bananas and go some distance, then they all stop acting like monkeys except Chewy._

**HAN**

Uh, Chewy?

_Chewy stops and they all exit.

* * *

_

**INT. OUTSIDE A BIG DOOR - NIGHT  
**

**LUKE**

This is it.

**HAN**

You go first.

**LUKE**

ME? Why can't you go?

**HAN**

You started this.

**LUKE**

You come in with me then.

* * *

**INT. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST'S CHAMBER - NIGHT**

**DARTH VADER**

I couldn't find him mother. He's coming in though.

_There is knocking._

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Come in Luke.

_Luke and Han enter. Luke and Darth Vader light saber duel._

**DARTH VADER**

Do you hate me yet?

**LUKE**

No.

**DARTH VADER**

Now?

**LUKE**

No.

**DARTH VADER**

How about now?

**LUKE**

NO! For the last time!

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

He's a sissy!

**DARTH VADER**

Face it, you'll never turn to the dark side.

**LUKE**

Figures.

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Kill him and get the slippers!

**LUKE**

You're going to kill me? Wait! If I join the dark side will you still kill me for the slippers?

**DARTH VADER**

Sissy's are weak; and I want to wear those slippers tomorrow for my birthday.

**LUKE**

They aren't magical?

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Of course not!

_Luke and Darth Vader duel until Luke cuts off Darth Vader's hand._

_Luke runs up to The Wicked Witch of the East and heels her toe._

_The Wicked Witch of the East cries out in pain._

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world! What a life!

_The Wicked Witch of the East doesn't melt at all._

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Oh.

**DARTH VADER**

Mom, this isn't worth having red slippers for my birthday.

**WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST**

Go you fools!

_Luke picks up a piece of concrete. Han and Luke exit._

**LEAH**

HEY! What about me?

* * *

**INT. THE WIZARDS CHAMBER - DAY**

**LUKE**

We brought you back some concrete from the castle.

**YODA**

CONCRETE? That could have come from anywhere!

**LUKE**

But...

**YODA**

Fine, I'll give you what you want if you give me a cookie.

_Chewy is eating cookies._

**HAN**

Chewy, give him you're last one.

_Chewy shakes his head vigorously._

**HAN**

Do you want to be a coward the rest of your life?

_Chewy shrugs and hands Yoda his cookie._

**YODA**

Thank you much.

_Yoda waves his hand.

* * *

_

**EXT. KANSAS IN FRONT OF LUKE'S HOUSE - DAY**

_Luke and Auntie Em are roasting Ms. Gulch over a fire._

**AUNTIE EM**

Don't ever run away like that again!

**LUKE**

I can't anyways. I have to where these high heals for the rest of my life!

**AUNTIE EM**

They actually don't look half bad on you.

_R2 makes laughing beeps._

**LUKE**

I'm turning GAY!


End file.
